


i leave you broken and shaken and you still call me baby

by saythe8



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Gyuhao, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, hello i feel like garbage so i made this, sorry yall lmao, thank you for reading this shitstorm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 22:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13645518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saythe8/pseuds/saythe8
Summary: xu minghao was so emotional sometimes, it was toxic. at those times, kim mingyu used to be able to help him get better.(or rather, gyuhao have a fight and angst ensues)





	i leave you broken and shaken and you still call me baby

**Author's Note:**

> 2018 has been pretty rough dude
> 
> (written sporadically over the course of three days, but was officially started on february ninth at 00:37)

minghao fucking hates it. he hates living and he hates breathing and he hates existing and he especially fucking hates _pity._ but that's all mingyu ever gives him. _pity._ whenever minghao gets upset mingyu gets this shitty, pitiful look in his eyes that makes minghao wanna vomit. it's like mingyu's fly kicking him directly in the stomach each time he does it. it hurts. that look hurts him. he hates it.

mingyu doesn't mean to. minghao's gone it over with him maybe a little over a thousand times about how much he hates people's pity. especially people he was close to. and minghao and mingyu.. were pretty damn close. they're boyfriends, for a couple months now, before that, they were best friends, and mingyu's basically over the moon for him. minghao was too. up until lately. he's been pretty upset lately. it makes him worry. and mingyu never does anything right when he's worried.

so on some particularly uninteresting day, at some spectacularly boring time, minghao just had to be alone. mingyu was watching a movie with him, and he was doing just fine, up until he drifted off into his head and it damaged his mood so bad that he could barely breathe. he needed space. he wanted to go to his room. no matter that he shares it with the rest of his unit - he would just kick them out and claim the room as his own until he could calm down. but mingyu was there, not to mention he was holding his hand, and minghao feared the look mingyu would give him if he just stood up and left. and he already knows the look he would get if he explained himself to his boyfriend - just a pitiful, sorry look. one that would make minghao wanna punch himself in the face. so he just sat still for a few moments, trying his best to avoid all the lumping thoughts in his head and the warm presence beside him. it all made him feel so trapped, so enclosed, it was like a form of claustrophobia for his mind. maybe this was sensory overload. he wouldn't know. he never bothered looking up terms, it always upset him to learn what he could have.

mingyu could feel minghao's mood shift drastically. they've been together for a while, long before they started dating, so mingyu knows. he wanted to talk about it. but minghao never seemed in the mood for talking about it. he did, before, when they first got together, but now he doesn't. ever. mingyu's still worried. and all this just amplified it. he didn't say a word. he just sat as still as minghao did, too plagued with the thoughts of the terrible things minghao was thinking to notice that minghao was crying now.

he really didn't mean to. crying wasn't his thing. he hated it. it attracted more attention, and more _pity._ and he hated that. but he was crying anyway, the water from his eyes staining his cheeks. he finally let go of mingyu's hand, dead set on just locking himself in some bathroom or closet or whatever just to be somewhere _alone._ he stood up. that's when mingyu noticed.

"minghao." mingyu started, only able to see the male's back. he couldn't see his face, therefore couldn't see the hot tears rolling down minghao's cheeks. "minghao, baby, please talk to me."

"that nickname disgusts me." minghao started, with a shaky voice from the sheer amount of everything he was feeling right now. "so don't call me that." normally he liked the nickname. it made him feel special. but he didn't feel too special right about now. mingyu's eyes widened. "minghao, what's wrong? please tell me. i'm sorry if i made you upset. i didn't mean to, honest. please tell me what's wrong." minghao didn't act like this. why was he acting like this? it was confusing mingyu so badly, he barely knew what to do.

minghao turned, facing mingyu. the tears that rolled down his cheeks were angry ones now. "no you're fucking not. your tone says so. hell, your eyes say so. you're not sorry. you just have _pity._ that's all you've ever had for me, huh? maybe you said yes when i asked you out because you felt as though i was pitiful. maybe you like me now out of _pity._ maybe you've fucked me out of _pity._ " the words leaving his mouth felt terrible and foreign and weird and it was sending him into even more of a shit ass mood with each syllable. "maybe all the good things you say about me are out of _pity._ because i? i am nothing compared to you. you're the sun and the moon and the stars and the planets and the entire fucking universe and i'm what? some shitty dancer from china who thought if i could become an idol, i'll be something. and i am something. but with you, i'm nothing. and you just continue to give me _pity._ you know i fucking hate that, mingyu. why do you always give me that?" he paused, too overwhelmed with his own statements. why was he saying this?

mingyu, on the other hand, had less of an idea than minghao did on his words. he was lost and he was hurt and he didn't know. he just didn't know. "minghao you.. you aren't.. i don't.. minghao." he didn't know where to begin. everything about his boyfriend's words felt wrong. "i don't mean to give you pity. i'm sorry. believe me. i don't mean to. i.. i've just been worried lately. you've seemed off for at least the past month now. i didn't know how to bring it up." he wasn't lying. he meant to bring it up when it first started, a week and a half ago, a couple days ago, hell, even while he was popping the movie into the dvd player. it's been bugging him for so long, and he never seemed to get the timing right. timing always seemed like the inevitable third party to all this.

"well maybe you should've brought it up sooner." minghao isn't crying anymore. he's just staring at mingyu with this blank look on his face. "i'm going to my room." he turns and walks towards the hallway with their rooms. he wants to stop walking. he doesn't.

and mingyu? he just sits there in stupor, watching one of the best people in his life walk away from him. it makes him wanna say something. he doesn't.

**Author's Note:**

> later that night, mingyu gets a text.
> 
> "we should break up." it says.
> 
> "okay." he says.


End file.
